someday—i don't know when—we're gonna get to that place. a place we really want to go and where we'll walk in the sun. but till then, tramps like us, baby, we were born to run.
— next
i request the greatest of patience and tolerance because runandgun and exoforsichuan but otherwise i guess it’s happening!!!
lol yeah ofc! ship is a really loose term for me now because. basically. anything cute goes nowadays. non-exo pairings are a lot of yes i feel like i spend 75% of my time in fandom recently asking why jlaw and jhutch are not fucking yet and pondering whether or not fork/spoon and or cutlery fanfiction is a good idea
this is what comeback droughts do
i do too. those were good days in which my life was not overrun by 12 shotas that are probably a tool in sm’s grand bioterrorist scheme
or vevo or something idk but thats not true and everyone is believing it is now!
urk how inconvenient a warning from either of them would have been nice. thanks though anon!
anon who are you, omg. i’ve gotten like three??? messages from you and i don’t mind writing fanxing, but you need to have a lot of patience because! i! have! a lot of wips to finish! as well as an exchange fic to do. but please tell me who you are so that we can. discuss. yes.
jongin’s completion is a quiet affair, mostly because he doesn’t make quips about everything down to his bathroom schedule or the cold soup or how “luhan you never bring enough water for the pills i have to swallow six pills.”
he goes quietly in the end, even after tossing and turning and drenching the bedsheets with sweat. at some point, when luhan is looking out the window and holding jongin’s hand, he’s suddenly alarmed by the lack of writhing movement on the bed and he turns to see jongin staring at him, the ghost of his last smile still on his face.
he goes quietly, like a discreet erasure of a mistake.
luhan leaves for kingsfield after that. he’s not sure how to feel about jongin’s completion, since it’s something that was always going to happen no matter how he sees it, but he can’t help feeling a little sad.
sehun’s in the garden with his chin in his knees when luhan arrives. there is a small circle of other donors in hospital gowns around him, picking at the grass and luhan has to stop and shake away the memories of hailsham before he approaches.
sehuns’ eyes go wide as petri dishes and he stumbles when he gets up, and luhan has barely a moment to steady him before he’s throwing his arms around his neck.
he used to smell like the field, like rain. now he smells like antiseptic.
“luhan, oh my god, is it really you?” he asks. his voice is the same. “where did—how did you—how did you find me?”
“jongin heard about you.”
“where is jongin?”
“jongin completed.”
“oh.” sehun frowns.
“yeah.”
they don’t need to say much. sehun seems to be unable to catch his breath in much the same way jongin did, and he has to get his walker for support as they take a walk in the garden.
“it’s different being a donor,” sehun says. “like, we all know that at any moment, the sword over our heads could fall.” he looks at luhan with that old smile on his face. “don’t you get tired of being a carer? i stopped after a few years, it wasn’t for me.” he looks back ahead. “i guess i wasn’t made for those kinds of things.”
“when’s your next donation?” luhan asks.
“next week,” sehun says. “maybe i’ll complete.”
the yearning in sehun’s voice—well, it doesn’t scare luhan.
it doesn’t. but.
promise me you and sehun are going to try to get a deferral. that’s the only thing i can do to make up for all the terrible things i’ve done to you, to him, to everyone. promise me you guys will try.
*
the latter category ofc
sorry it took me so long to get to this! i myself cannot even express how much i thank you for this! i started with the intention of just putting my stuff out there without much thought but it became a way for me to make people’s days a little better and knowing that i had made all the difference. i’m really super touched by this! i wish i could address you personally, why are you anon ;_; but anyway, really, thank you ♥
it is basically The Cutest Thing Ever. it captures the terror and excitement of parenthood so well? it’s not all fluff and rainbows but it’s great. GO FORTH AND ENRICH YOUR FANDOM EXPERIENCE!!!
